Please read my stories with an open mind and heart. I write these stories as entertainment and to record my stories as a carer not to blame or offend anyone.

This morning Mr.J chipped a tooth while having breakfast. At first I thought he was mistaken because he showed me a piece of oat flakes as the chipped tooth. I dismissed it. He then found the tooth fragment and freaked out. He demanded that we go to the dentist. I tried to calm him down and promised to make an appointment.

Then the search began. I checked the blue bible (care plan) for info. There was a telephone number there but it was strange that the dentist’s number was the same as the surgery’s. Then I noticed that there was a set of telephone numbers on the wall that had the dentist’s number on it. The original number that was was now crossed over did not match the number in the care plan. Neither did the new number scribbled next to the printed one. Well, we shall see which one works!

Later I found Mr.J. manically going through drawers looking for something. It turned out that his shave did not seem to work and was looking for other ones that he, unknowingly, had hidden somewhere. In his upset he is rude. I looked for the ‘missing items’ in the usual places . I found them and gave them to him. He asked where they were, I showed him. Life went on.

About ten minutes later, I found Mr. J. half-dressed and very upset once again. This time he was looking for the chipped tooth that he had placed in an envelope. He was accusing me of misplacing the envelope. I told him that I was sorry but I had not seen the envelope. He got more and more upset. I tried to explain him that the dentist will not need the chip of tooth to see where the broken tooth is. Then he quit searching and tried to make a telephone call. I told him that I had already tried to contact the dentistry but the line was engaged. He was adamant that he would make a call. I let him. He spent the next 15 minutes trying to figure out how the telephone worked. I offered him to help call the dentist but he dismissed me saying I did not seem keen doing it. Eventually, he got so upset that he decided to go out – probably to let some steam out – I foolishly asked him to put on something warm since it is freezing outside. It seemed to have thrown him completely and he stated to shout at me accusing me of different things I did not get. His voice and mannerisms were threatening and abusive. I raised my voice to communicate that this tone of voice is not OK with me. He dropped everything and went upstairs. It turned out that he went to pick up some warm piece of clothing. It was his best dinner coat. I did not say a word. He went out to sort the garden bin out. In the meantime, his son called back whom I had contacted earlier for help. He had decided to come and pick us up in about two hours’ time and take us to the dentist. Mr.J. calmed down and was willing to sit down to have some tea.

I am exhausted because of the stress, the upset, the shouting, the not-knowing what to do exactly, and the trying to figure out what to do I a matter of zero time.

Why is the job stressful and exhausting?