Please read my stories with an open mind and heart. I write these stories as entertainment and to record my stories as a carer not to blame or offend anyone.

Question: What kind of safety measures are put in place that protects carer’s from clients’ abusive behaviour?

Mr J. has a foul temper! The most unacceptable part of the whole story is that everybody pretends that it is all OK and nothing can be done about it. We all go through the motion. We all pretend that this man behaves in this unacceptable and abusive way is because of his dementia. It is not true. This man must have always had this temper if not worse. Everyone plays along. The son pretends that his nasty and sexist comments are funny, the daughter dismisses his fits. I suspect they try to avoid confrontation. On top of it all, the care plan says nothing about his behavioural tendencies, though my understanding is that he previously displayed violent temper towards his own wife and other carers too. No reports that I know of.

None of us are trained specialists of the particularities of the job.  Neither have I seen a supervisor discussing how to handle fits of anger and hysteria. I understand that he cannot really hurt me physically because he is too frail, but his verbal abuse is just as bad. His constant flow of nasty comments and diminishing remarks make me feel sick in my stomach. On the surface, he seems like a thoughtful and caring gentleman except when he isn’t. He has the mannerisms of a gentleman but occasinally he has the attitude of a bully. And nobody says a word.

I have written all the incidents down in the log. I wonder if any action will be taken as a result. I doubt it. Even though this behaviour is not displayed constantly but in fits, in my opinion, it still needs to be investigated and made sure that carers are aware of it.

Health and safety 101